28 July 2009

The night Drew Carey came over

Drew smiles for a last minute photo op before he leaves.

The following is an entirely fictional account of meeting a celebrity and providing food and shelter for him over a weekend.
On Friday I was ambling about town, enjoying the sites and sounds of downtown, when I noticed a familiar face outside the Hotel Donaldson. No it wasn't Jay Leno, even though he was performing at the nearby Shooting Star Casino. And it wasn't Dave Matthews, who would be playing a music festival in the lakes area the next evening. Neither was it Ira Glass or Johnny Lang or Peter Schickele.
My stares began to perturb him. Until I blurted out- "You're not from around here, you're from TV."
He looked around and shook his head affirmatively.
"Yep, I'm from TV. That little box 90 million people turn on in the late morning, I'm on that 5 times a week! Not to mention my show still runs in syndication!" he retorted sarcastically. "Too bad the clerks inside don't know that. Too bad they don't know I'm Drew [explicative] Carey!"
He goes on to explain he flew into town by mistake. He had fallen asleep on a plane in Las Vegas which eventually flew on to Hector Field.
"They didn't even wake me!" he exclaimed. "I'm never flying that carrier again. I'll take a taxi."
The frustrated comedian and game show host continued to expound on his foibles until I stopped him.
"Why don't I show you around town?" I offered.
He obliged and I took him on a stroll through downtown showing him all the noteworthy sites including the cafe where Bob Dylan worked, the new library, and the Main Avenue Bridge. Later Drew and went to a convenience store for a snack. He commented on the flood we had a few months ago as we sat on bench overlooking the Red River. He seemed pretty impressed by the flood fight the city had put up.
As it was getting late, I was about to leave Drew and head home until he spoke up.

"Hey, you wouldn't mind if I crash at your place? You know with the economy and stuff, it would probably make sense." Drew asked sheepishly. "I can't get a hold of my agent to jet out of here tonight."
The futon on which Drew slept.I thought the request was a joke so I agreed and we walked to my place. Fortunately, my room mate was on vacation since he didn't like the Drew Carey Show.

I unfolded the futon and found a pillow. We chatted for a few more minutes and then I went to bed.

The next morning I made him breakfast of eggs, sausage, and toast. Afterward Drew used the Internet and then called his agent. I was surprised he didn't write about about this event on his blog.
"I'm out of here at 3." he said. "Thanks for the bed and breakfast."
After he showered, he sat around reading Wired magazine until noon and wondered why I didn't have cable so he could catch MLS highlights. I offered him a beer and he laughed.
"Beer covers over everthing." he quipped as he chugged a Leinies.
At 3 he patted me on the back and said if I'm ever out in Burbank to stop by the show. I walked him out the door and into an airport shuttle. He saluted me as the shuttle rolled away.

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