Numb independence

It was not the best of weekends.
No, it ranks near the bottom of the barrel. Even my tire blow out weekend was better. At least I did not lose sleep this like during "firework."
I had premonitions of inevitability seeping from my head. Something was awry.
As it turned out my Independence Day foray reaffirmed my own independent status.
There I was parting ways on the most delicate of emotional connections while strolling through a generic part of the neighboring town. It seemed expected. It was the day I dreaded. A numb feeling sort of engulfed me as I took in the conversation. It was by no means what I desired. Far from it. I believed that this was the missing piece.
I pursued it silently and it ended silently. A mere blip on the map I suspect.
Passion dies a cold hard death.
I felt like crying but could not.
It was not until the next day that I actually lost it as I was listening to some music. I had to leave work.
The emotions gushed out. I felt abandoned, rejected, failure, self-hatred....then numb as if they were instantaneously frozen.
And I still grieve.