Firework Completed

Now my firework has been completed I have been thinking what to do to celebrate the momentous completion of this seasonal job.
Have a Caveman Party!
For the past three weeks I have been employed to sell fireworks out of a tent in Alexandria, Minnesota. It was by far better than last year's experience in Bemidji. We actually outsold the Bemidji super tent this season. The one downside is that I lost some important mail during the sale.
I wonder sometimes how they name a firework. For instance, the caveman party (alluded to above), seems rather out there in the name game. It just spouts colored sparks. Why not call it Colorific Tremendo? No, these fireworks big wigs have spend millions of dollars in market research to determine the average fireworks consumer (in the safe and sane states, but more on that later.) would be compelled to buy a firework with the name party on the end if caveman were used before it. Viola! A stupendous sales technique. I think they must have learned something because there was a plain Caveman fountain a few seasons ago. You can know only purchase it in assortment packs or from the trunks of unlicensed vendors wearing animal skins.
In Minnesota safe and sane fireworks are the only ones allowed to be sold. These fireworks include fountains, sparklers, and novelties. I don't know how many times I had to explain that firecrackers, parachutes, Roman candles, rockets, artillary shells, and reporting fountain cannot be sold or bought in Minnesota. Despite the lack of supposed "good stuff" we do a great business in Minnesota. My tent was in the top 5 in sales going into July 4th weekend.
In closing here are a few more peculiar fireworks' names: Iguana Man, Monster Parade, Kahuna's Revenge (beware surfers!), Devil's Delight, Screaming Ghoul, The Heat (for those cold 4th of Julys), Towering Inferno (we sold this right after 9/11).

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