18 April 2012

He hate me? Ugly Online Ad

No, not the XFL player from years ago, Rod Smart. Although his story could be a worthy blog entry.
This entry is about a certain type of online ad you probably see once a day- the Hater's Ad.
The premise of the Hater's Ad is there is some awesome new product or information and to make the viewer click through the advertiser uses a slogan like "Harvard professors hate him" or "Personal trainers hate her." It turns up the heat on the ad because it is garnering interest in why there is such an emotional reaction to this guy or gal's product. Once on the click through-you find this product which advertisers sing paeans to its miraculous powers. Let's look at few and imagine the outlandish reasons why they are hated.

Poor old Clem wanted to harness the ultimate power source- little blue squares. Well then he discovers that those blue squares are making energy from the sun and viola- he's off the grid. Mr Bad Guy Power Concern does not like that, he wants all the power for himself and will only share if there is gold exchanged. Thus the hate began. And the power companies do HATE him. Of course this ad does not tell you that the power generated only can power a coffee maker for 1 hour. Oops!




This fellow above was only doing what his research contract required- make a chimpanzee speak in Yiddish idioms. He almost succeeded- but instead got his research assistants to speak Bocce in 10 days. George Lucas was amazed as he thought of a new revenue stream - Star Wars language camps on Tatooine, I mean in the Sonora desert. Well the university he worked at decided to market this method- which still involved having monkey-human interaction because the school failed to proof read the entire document. Thus language professors hate him because of his lack of proof reading. But it was not his fault. He was in solitary confinement after some off handed comments about "the leader." So some committee put the document together.

Finally the doctors get in on some hate but doctors of the botox variety- probably those rich doctors who can make you look like someone else. This skincare trick was discovered by lady in Idaho- a potato farmer to be exact. I am unsure why she was saving old rotten potatoes but one day she decided to mash them up and use it a skin care product. The rest is history. She looked 5 years younger. Yes only 5! But those nasty botox doctors were not happy. They filled her Facebook with hate messages. They hated her town, her clothes, her state. And of course her rotten potato beauty compote. Let the haters hate.

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