The Royce Files

A considerable amount of costumes- besides the super hero themed ones- appeared in this year's Fargo Marathon. A running Elvis did not make an appearance this year. I did see 2 guys running in button up short sleeve shirts. I do not think those were costumes. Just an unusual choice of attire for a marathon. Still, there were plenty of tutus worn too. Some costume like attire was also worn by spectators. I did not document that. What I have here is a smattering of costumed runners. Birdman What is worse? Being a birdman or being chased by a birdman? Oh and there were 4 birdmen. This guys is really a glutton for pain. Kind of reminds me of that Beatles' tune "Carry That Weight: The Cat in the small hat and the running dude. I saw the Cat downtown and she had a child in tow dresses as Thing 2. I never saw the dude again. I do not know what to make of this outfit but I want to start singing "This Girl is on Fire" A running luchador. 2 ladi...

What better thing to do after having a successful sequel than to run 26.2 miles in Fargo ND. The Captain did that via many runners. I was only able to capture a few. No one dared to put on the Captain's cowl but who cares- it fun to run and know you are impersonating one of the great super heroes of 20th century. Sometimes the Captain just needs to run alone.

 how dapper   Ah Halloween, that holiday that while growing up in the church was conveniently avoided and replaced by the likes of the Hallelujah Hoe Down or the Holy Ghost Weenie Roast. Good reasons no doubt since my birth All Hallows Eve has become more about the gore and scare and more recently a little bit of sexy. And Christians really wanted to avoid the big scare that Frank Peretti  painted in a lot of his books. I think my 'brethern and sistern' responded in reactionary ways and did not engage the culture or have a desire to influence it. However, I am not going to delve into the merits of why or why not you should recognize Halloween. Too long, too complicated and I don't have time. I desire to be neutral towards it. So disguises, sweets, meeting neigbors- I like. Scares, gore, witchcraft and their ilk- I do not like. Strangely enough, Martin Luther decided to begin an scholarly engagement  t...

You probably already know the winners of the races- the German, the Moorhead woman, the guy who sprinted past Andrew Carlson to victory, and the Ladia the defender of titles. However, you might not know the curious oddities of the Marathon- those individuals who seek running glory while in costume. I saw my share of costumes- Thor with a hammer, hula guys, a caped female. Let's start with the grand-daddy of costume figures at the marathon- Superman. Superman, faster than a speeding bullet, has run Fargo at least 3 times. I am not sure why he does not just fly a few miles. I am Superman and not blond  Below I caught the back of Luigi of Mario brothers fame. Oh no Luigi  Not to worry, Luigi made a 2nd appearance with Mario and the Princess. All I can say is that Luigi got hit by one of those moving crabs and had to go back to the beginning of the level. Mario, Luigi, and the Princess and older man

The maquerading season is over but I will bring a few more disguises before we descend into the turkey and gravy and mash potatoes days which loom ahead. The night of Halloween was rather a no show. It was cooler that the previous 2 'weens and it also appeared downtown was not jumping. In fact whole blocks were alone and empty. What masqueaders I saw were minimal. They all kept indoors, if in fact they were indoors. Even the scary house display round the corner was completely gone by 11pm.  Apparently the 30th was the night to be out downtown. I excused myself from that business as I had other things I needed to do. So much of my coverage come from what I came up with or from the workplace costume thing. So over to the right some of my former team-mates- Red Riding Hood and Corpse Bride. They get together and enjoy extravagant picnics. But here we have the Captain who needs no costume, just a short salute and people honor him with prizes and drinks. And so the C...

Ensign Palmer knows that he'll be placed in the line of fire. 3 times has he been left for dead only to rise up again to beam aboard the Enterprise. Being killed is one thing he failed at the academy. Everything else he did just fine. Although he works in engineering  he often gets assigned security detail by mistake. There is another Ensign Palmer aboard the vessel but she seems to always get assigned to the lunch room. Pretty unfair if you ask me. Palmer is an amicable lad and is passionately in love with bread. He has often given First Officer Spock a loaf of bread to convince him to re-assign him to more duties in engineering rather than security. It typically fails as Spock seems content to just go down the list and make assignments based on his judgment and no aptitude.

With just a little duct tape, a Swiss Army knife, and a little scientific know-how, McGjervold can lick any problem no matter how mundane or ludicrous. Giant scallions? He'll do it. Killer tomatoes? Gjervold will slice and dice them into salsa with a an old tin can. Heartburn? He'll make you an organic nutrient rich beverage to ease the pain. Working for the famous Phoenix Foundation, McGjervold begins where MacGyver left off. He travels the globe to scuttle espionage and scotch environmental dangers in nonviolent ways often employing humor. A first rate thinker and speed reader, Magnus McGjevold won't use bullets or even bludgeons. A 2X4, yes. Brill cream-- not on your life.

Katy Perry does not fight crime, at least that's what I've been told by a publicist. Sure she can get censored by Sesame Street but stopping bad guys and gals, she don't light a finger. Here she is just after he SNL appearance with the Great Zavs. Katy is content to hang out, have a good time, and sing a few songs.

If the Google Doodle can have a Scooby Doo reference so can my blog. Snaggy actually works with indirectly. We used to be on the same team until I changed what I do. Snaggy doesn't eat much these days like he did in his earlier crime fighting days. He does like comics and such. Not sure how much crime he is preventing as Scooby has been stuffed for some time. Scooby was really the brains behind the operation. Sure Velma might lend a hand but it was Scooby who got the business done. Shaggy, well, he just hangs out at the crime scene and that's all. Perhaps he should team up with Poison Ivy and Marylin.

 Marylin and Poison work together but once a year and at that only after drinking a pint of light beer. They met in Hollywood one autumn night while waiting in the make-up department. They have teamed up to fight crime this year since deciding that crime was so yesterday. Their plan is to stop a bank robbery or a terrorist threat. So far they have only helped an old lady rake leaves in her yard. It was quite the sight. On Wednesdays they take karate lessons. 

The Dutch Master is neither from the Netherlands nor a master of anything worthwhile except precision weaponry from said low lands. He actually gets his name from the brand of cigar he prefers- Dutch Masters . Plus he dons a particular hair style and mustache and hat reminiscent of the said Dutch Masters . He plays coy as he smokes a cigar and fires weapons. He seldom is seen before noon. The Dutch Master's colleagues have  included Louie the Lowlife Lounge Lizard of Lombardy and Mel Gibson. His favorite haunt is the Speakeasy where he eats a loaf of bread a bowl of pasta every Wednesday night. Once he assisted in a massive bread heist in Philadelphia where he commandeered a loaded bread truck and drove it to Ocean City, NJ to feed the birds and a few transients for Hector De Nada De Puesto. Today the Dutch Master prefers removing old books from the public library and solo salsa dancing on Saturdays.

Since its the disguising time of year, I will inspire your imaginations with another daily disguise series. Rubber Chicken Ambassador (RCA) is looking for his next victim to whack with a rubber chicken. Beware, it could be you! RCA frequents fine hotels and fraternal halls. His hat is said to be made from a racoon he captured with the chicken. RCA is a ringleader of a crack team of divious bowling enthusists known collectively as Die Kegleri. Be forewarned if a rubber chicken does not do you in a misplaced bowling ball will. He was last seen fleeing an international market where he possibly sought secrets to evolve his lasted weapon- nuclear meltdown chicken.

Now we come to the finale of our show and we pull all the stops on this final scene but we meet some interesting guests in this scene Finale - Gathering of the disguises- Clown man, Blindlike man with beads, Mr. Monopoly, Ron Burgundy, Poodle Skirter, Scary Hair (partially blocked), and Waldo. Why would this motley crew of peeps come together? For the money! They are attending a costume contest and believe there will be a large cash reward for the victorious one. However, being the devious individuals that they are, they come together in order to swipe the prize money. Unfortunately, Mr. Monopoly is named the winner and so decides to keep the prize for himself. Ron Burgundy will have none of this injustice amongst costumed crooks. So just as the prize is awarded, mayhem ensues and Mr. Monopoly runs away with the prize. Now the chase begins. Scary Hair lays the smack down on Mr. Monopoly but Waldo slips by unnoticed, swiping the prize. Using his unusual talent of hiding, Waldo cannot be...

Scene six- The Pinko It may be hard to distinguish this Pinkerton Detective from some ordinary joe with a bowler and mustache for an earlier time. James McParland had infiltrated the Molly Maguires and he hopes to stop you from doing anything that might be illegal. Although he may not be able to infiltrate your peer group, he may use other methods to prevent you from comitting a crime. He would stop at nothing to get you behind bars. Like him or not, McParland always gets his man (or woman if that be you.) No doubt he is on the tails of all the other denizens we have met in the dastardly disguises series. Cheers.

Late Hallows' Eve, I took for the downtown in search of disguises after donning myself in yet another costume. This time I went old timey: suit, bow tie, mustache, and bowler. Downtown I had a few people think I was Charlie Chaplin (wrong type of mustache) or Harry Houdini (never had a mustache). I thought I looked more like a Pinkerton Agent although I can find no photo evidence to prove it. Behind me you can see Brad Childress taking a break for love. Lots of sports oriented costumes. I think I saw England soccer stud Wayne Rooney, basketball players, Brett Favre. Zombies were pretty common too. As has been the trend the last few years, women are wearing less. I am surprised they are even out because of the cold. Some men too were also seen wearing less. Not any elaborate costumes from what I saw. I did see one abandoned costume- Chinese Take -Out. If you can't handle the bulk don't put it on. Easier said than done. I saw an odd electronic like piece of something that loo...

Scene 5- Gil T. Robot This robot (or should I say android) has a penchant for entering people's home and drinking their beer. This robot was caught in Phil's garage attempting to pilfer any beer. Unfortunately the robot ended up drinking diesel and picked up a slight flutter. He began berating us for getting him lost and marooned in a garage then warned us to not trust any little hooded creatures. Phil directed the robot into the closet. Eventually, Gil left but not after making a sparkling mess everywhere. He also doubled as Treepio in my part of Star Wars: Uncut. But that's another story, far, far away. There might be more dastardly disguises coming but that will depend on whether I go out tonight searching for them.

Scene 4 of the continuing series of dastardly disguises. And now scene 4- Dr. Hitech Though some may call him a mad scientist that is not entirely accurate. He is just mad at science. He tries the bend the rules but they just don't want to bend. Like his x-ray vision device he is holding. It's nothing but a bunch of plastic and an old Mountain Dew bottle. Probably the only thing you have to worry about from him is an accident. And you can't predict accidents. If you run into Dr. Hitech make sure you keep a safe distance.

Now for the 3rd installment of Dastardly Disguises. Scene 3- Chauncey the Hit Clown These days clowns don't get much respect. However, this clown does. Chauncey the Hit Man does freelance work for the mob ever since his fortunes under the big top went south. I've been told Chauncey only carries a toy gun and instead uses bad jokes and gags to get even with the people who have crossed his employers. Chauncey knows 3 kinds of mime and has tickled victims into submission. He favorite drink is the Lon Chaney, straight up, one cube of ice. He frequents rodeos where he attempts to recruit henchclowns.

The second installment of the disguises series. New one everyday until the Eve of Hallows. Today- Disco King. The Disco King is a leader of a rogue organization - The 70's Preservation Society- which is bent on utilizing disco terrorism to control the world. The Disco King rules from his lair deep below the surface of an Andy Warhol warehouse. The King captures intelligent individuals and makes them create intricate maps of transit systems and walkways of major world cities. Utilizing a hypnotic disco beat he lures unsuspecting individuals to the the lair. The sounds of the Bee Gees, Village People, Boys Town Gang, and Rose Royce play constantly ensuring captives do not escape and makes for a pretty mean dance party.

The following series is a collection of disguises that could be used for the upcoming day of disguising. There will be short blurb about the character and perhaps even a description of the attire. Scene 1: Luchadorvis He scrambled through the apartment looking for Rey Mysterio but instead gave me the piledrive and raided my fridge of bananas and peanut butter. He left singing "Are you lonesome tonight" but not before applying the double claw on my wearied body. Some would say this is the reincarnated Honky Tonk Man with his Elvis-like jump suit. However, this grappler doesn't want the attention a pompadour will bring and masks his visage.