The Royce Files

Late Hallows' Eve, I took for the downtown in search of disguises after donning myself in yet another costume. This time I went old timey: suit, bow tie, mustache, and bowler. Downtown I had a few people think I was Charlie Chaplin (wrong type of mustache) or Harry Houdini (never had a mustache). I thought I looked more like a Pinkerton Agent although I can find no photo evidence to prove it. Behind me you can see Brad Childress taking a break for love. Lots of sports oriented costumes. I think I saw England soccer stud Wayne Rooney, basketball players, Brett Favre. Zombies were pretty common too. As has been the trend the last few years, women are wearing less. I am surprised they are even out because of the cold. Some men too were also seen wearing less. Not any elaborate costumes from what I saw. I did see one abandoned costume- Chinese Take -Out. If you can't handle the bulk don't put it on. Easier said than done. I saw an odd electronic like piece of something that loo...

The following is an entirely fictional account of meeting a celebrity and providing food and shelter for him over a weekend . On Friday I was ambling about town, enjoying the sites and sounds of downtown, when I noticed a familiar face outside the Hotel Donaldson. No it wasn't Jay Leno, even though he was performing at the nearby Shooting Star Casino. And it wasn't Dave Matthews, who would be playing a music festival in the lakes area the next evening. Neither was it Ira Glass or Johnny Lang or Peter Schickele. My stares began to perturb him. Until I blurted out- "You're not from around here, you're from TV." He looked around and shook his head affirmatively. "Yep, I'm from TV. That little box 90 million people turn on in the late morning, I'm on that 5 times a week! Not to mention my show still runs in syndication!" he retorted sarcastically. "Too bad the clerks inside don't know that. Too bad they don't know I'm Drew [expli...