The Royce Files

An now another exciting installment of Ugly Online Ads. In our last post we were seeing the Obamavertment making a comeback and the old also getting more ads. Well we got a little more of that and then some. Our first is a scary looking lady. I think this was used to sell a miracle wrinkle cream or perhaps a sleep reducing program. I think it may do better as an advertisement for a Star Trek convention. The make-up job on this lady reminds me of some alien that Captain Kirk romanced. Next we got an old guy and an ad invoking the powers of the chief executive of the United States. The thing about this ad that I can't capture for this blog is when you hover over it the old guy begins to turn into a line drawn version. Makes it rather eery and odd further creating the disconnection to the object of the advertisement but drawing us to the ad because of its sheer weirdness.   Our final ad a friend brought to my attention last week. It was on Yahoo for a day or so and I haven't s...

 It was a pretty sparse blog in June, but here comes July with an explosion. An explosion of Ugly Online Ads! Our first specimen today is the return of the Obamavertment. Since the guy who has name like his was killed the Prez's credibility for ads has risen. Of cource I am not sure this one has a hidden political statement in it. The man looks rather disinterested in the reduction that the President supposedly has made. His response sort of sounds like "Meh. More reductions. What's new?" Mr. Disinterest is pretty well dressed for one of these ads. I would suspect he may have been a college administrator in another life. Next in line is Mudman. Scary new ad hero. Watch out during campaign season, this guy will be throwing himself around freely. And speaking of super heroes, looks as if somebody wants to give Mrs. President a cut of the online ad biz with this resemblance. I have seen Mr. Obama as a super hero but his spouse is rarely depicted. Anyways, she looks l...

It's been a while. I've had a short vacation and pretty much neglected the blog for over a week. I didn't even use the Internets over the vacation at all. Too busy golfing or watching Dragnet . Time to take a look at some more ugly online adverts that have been popping up on your screens- or spewing forth like a dreaded slimy goo. Our first today is trying to get people to go back to school. This time it does not invoke the Presidential influence. In fact I am not sure whether this could be a mixed up ad for Classmates.com. The image they use is rather dated. I'd say its late-70s to mid-80s based on the hair and the possiblity that she is wearing a corduory jumpsuit. Actually the image is a little ambiguious since I am not sure those are straps on the shoulder or suspenders. Indeed if it is suspenders then we've got a great mullet going here. Does this make you want to go back to school? It certainly reminds me of school. So it must be targeting my peer group. T...

Another entry into the ugly online ad category crossed with an Obamavertment. Although this one is not entirely ugly the old guy used in the image for this advert is a little unnerving. The guy looks like Don Quixote cum Father Time crossed with George Armstrong Custer (remember Little Big Horn) after a night of drinking and quoting Shakespeare. Maybe this is Nick Nolte . He's been heading in this direction for years. Like the typical offenders invoking the name of Obama, this one goes from some bizzare images to Obama's urging the viewer to do something. In this one refinance. And indeed Obama has made this urging way back in 2009. Apparently nobody is responding to the urges of the top guy because these ads keep popping up and rarely with the President's image. I'd rather there be an Obamavertment that urges us to get off our butts. This may be in the works as Michelle Obama will be taking on obesity. I could imagine the possibilities for these ads.

More commentary on online ads that seem to be on every website. You can't use the internets for any amount of time and not come across these ads. Our first ad at the left has been around for a while. The moving hamster image must be a huge draw to homeowners. Not sure "9/10" means anything to readers. Most likely it is to suggest that 9 out of 10 homeowners fail etc. Not very effective program apparently. I suppose the organization who put this one out thought "Hey, nobody is using the government's program let's try and draw them to our services with a hamster like animal?" To which his or her superiors responded- "Brilliant!" They then all clanked bottles of PBR together and texted the intern to make a viral video of a hamster. I think the intern then probably just looked for a copy of screensaver which makes it appear you have a hamster in the monitor and captured the video. Our next advert uses a man again but this time breaks the traditio...

Last time I discussed or ranted or raved about Ugly Online adverts. I found a few more that are well, kind of strange. They don't rank up there as ugly but the are the type which makes you go- "What in the world!" The walking women ad is its own genre I believe. I've seen other animated ad like it. And what are they hawking by walking- some kind of insurance. Not sure whether how fully dressed strolling women are any enticement to click. Plus they are not particularly good looking - just kind of just above average. Maybe they have great personalities. Oh, and this ad  also falls in the Obamavertment genre too. It uses an Obama endorsement to entice the viewer. Bush could never do so well. His name doesn't suggest cool jazz. Next, we look at another odd picture shilling unrelated services-Smilling dog and home refinancing. This one is made to appear like a video clip with the dog smiling every few seconds. Also, this is another Obamavertment. The strategy of...