The Royce Files

"Give it to me, Bucky!" exclaimed a number of people along with myself at the Lowry Theater in downtown St. Paul. We were only 1 number away from a bingo during the interactive show We Gotta Bingo . The prize we were after was a sweater donated by Bill Cosby and the opportunity to sit on the Bingo Champion Throne. The premise of this show is pretty basic: 2 churches must come together to raise money to renovate the others' church due to one being accidentally torn down. On top of all that they are ethnically diverse- Italian and Irish- and have a shaky relationship with one another. In order to raise money they throw this Bingo shebang dinner in which audience literally is a part. The show includes live music including a polka band that covers OutKast in addition to beer barall polkas. The whole space of the Lowry Theater is decked out to look something like a fraternal hall with pictures and memorabilia from ages past. Even the bathrooms had their special decor. The men...

She's been dead for weeks yet we get round the clock coverage on the proceedings on CNN. What's next? My colleague James gave the most eloquent description of this perculiarity that CNN decided to champion as news. He titles this programmming decision as: the who cares where the rapidly rotting corpse of a psuedo-celebrity is going to be buried, because people are so self centered and needy of other peoples infamy that they will let their "loved" ones decay into a slimy puddle of gelatenous goo before they would consider anyone else's feelings including the aforementioned maggot ridden cadaver show. I don't think you can an any more dead on than that. Pork bellies are more noteworthy that this pseudo-celebrity tripe.

This weekend I had the privledge to see most of Team Unglaublich of Intramural Glory fame in action. In order to do so I had to fight my way through the biggest and baddest snow storm of the year. Fortunately my father loaned me a 4WD vehicle so I had the power to defeat this weathery adversary. With the weather bringing disorder to the whole metro area, only about half the team showed. The Ledge was particularly enthralled by this predicament. Kevin and Coach McCue could only wonder why the others weren't hungry enough for glory. Due to the lack of hands available I was drafted off the sidelines to run the camera. So be looking for some of my footage out there soon, I hope. I don't think I did tremendous camera work. It was awkward to say the least. I may have even missed a few glorious shots. I certainly hope the Ledge or Owen aren't going to hunt me down and rough me up. For the avid fans of Intramural Glory look for the new episode shortly. The production crew is a lit...

Grim prospects for those without a father. Seems there's a bunch a research out there that studied effects of life without father. Nothing remotely positive: drugs, child abuse, poor school performance, emotional and behavioural problems. Looking at the blurbs from these father studies is a bit overwhelming. No doubt there are exceptions. Why there must be an amount of orphans out there who have succeeded like Dave Thomas of Wendy's fame. I am not about to bemoan fathers or mothers or whatever parental or lack of parental involvement that exists in one's life. Instead I am promoting intervention in the form of mentoring. No this isn't trying to get the father and mother back together again but intervention in the childrens' lives. It's like reducing those risks. Check out this short article about it in Relevant.

Has individualism created a weaker church? This of course is a yes and no answered. This article from Relevant Magazine Online and proffers the question-"did Paul have a home church?" People value salvation and grace and all those wonderful blessings but the church is the socks you get at Christmas from Aunt Ginny. That is a great analogy to the situation. Do you value socks? Probably not. We get Jesus but don't think the Church is essential. I don' think that aligns with the teachings in the Bible. So don't regard the Church as your pair of Christmas socks.

I n my mind Budweiser is not the king of beer. Instead I bestow that title to Phil. Whenever I drink a fine ale or pilsner or lager or stout, I think of Phil looking down and smiling upon my and giving me beer drinking pleasure. Now Phil is by no means a drunk. As far as I know he is regularly sober. A few weeks ago I decided to make an offering to the "king of beer." I purchased some fried chicken and fixings and laid them before Phil. He offered me beer. Good beer. I think it was a brown ale of sorts but it was good, very good. I wonder if someday someone somewhere will brew a beer and place Phil's likeness on the bottle. Call it something like "Lucious Phil's Delight." Speaking of naming beers, my other beer drinking aquaintance, James, made beer once and he spilled some of the wort on his foot and got 2nd degree burns. He ended up calling the brew Hot Foot Brew.

There is the Stanley Cup, the World Cup, the Sam McGuire Cup (for you Gaelic games fans), and the Nextel Cup but now the Vatican has added another sporting cup to the mix- The Clericus Cup . The only stipulation for this soccer competition is that you are a Catholic seminarian, clergy, or lay minister. I think you also need to live around Rome. Some of the teams seem to be organized around national origin. The Swiss Guards will be fielding a team, too. Italy's largest insurance company is providing sponsorship. I am not sure if clerical garb will be worn during the matches. Competition begins this week with the final in June. The Vatican also has other footballing ambitions which appear to involve fielding a side to compete in Italy's top league, Serie A. It probably would be a great boon to them since football is akin to a religious institution in places. The church and in particular to Catholic flavor has been involved in soccer before. Celtic and Hibernian in Scotland we...

I n a highly unusual act, State Representative Scot Kelch decided to press for a resolution to honor Bono in North Dakota. The measure failed albeit amongst some confusion as some lawmakers perceived the resolution would honor the late Sonny Bono (whoses birthday it happens to be today 16 Feb) and failed to see it as important. I believe Bono, the newly christened spokesperson for peace on earth and goodwill toward man, has made no comment concerning the snub. He just kept playing in his band, U2. Far from being a ludachrist legistlative stunt to grab headlines the world over for North Dakota, the resolution would have honored a fellow who has used his gigantic fame to move this generation into action concerning poverty, AIDS, and numerous associated humanitarian concerns. [My personal favorite is clean water.] But does he need anymore praise? I think the praise sometimes overshadows the work and then creates backlash because of jealousy or what not. I'd invite him over for spaghet...

I f you haven't seen the latest edition of Intramural Glory , you should. The rag tag Internet voted squad finally takes it to the hole in their first game but with disasterous results. Indeed, the team chemistry is not cohesive. Boima and Ledge are at their best when their mouths are open not when on the court. One team member gets injuried in pre-game warm-ups and the Old Guy probably has more than birthday party committments that prevent him from attending. After reviewing the footage here's my kudos for best performances: Shelby- best performance. discomfort and cringing provided the most excellent symbolism of the game. Rob - best line of the episode. Kyle - best supporting actor. I can't get enough of Kyle. He exudes a subtle but palatable angst in his performances. For those of you wanting to see more of Danny Myers , he only get's 3 seconds of face time and numerous uncredited back views.

Good article on Relevant Magazine Online about church membership and how to determine it. Don't look for answers but the questions it raises of which I have pondered as well.

Seems the ol' SoWashCo Bulletin has caught up with my former collaborator, Kevin Myers, and did a short article . Of note in the article is mention of the infamous The Kevin Myers Show, a public access show of which I was a founding member. This public access show literally became a franchise of sorts since it played in some form for almost 10 years somewhere in public access land. Most the evidence has since disappeared or is disappearing. However, with the advent of YouTube type platforms I may see the re-emergence of these shows. Myers has stated on numerous occasions that those were the days of public access trash. It was a lo-fi mid-tech piece meal production which was mediocre at its best. Looking back, however, creates a new level hilarity we never intended. I mean an impersonation of someone impersonating someone else is a bit high brow. One fellow we had on the show did George Bush and Saddam Hussein in the same sketch. He literally ripped it from the previous week's ...

...we'll die for you- The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council ." So goes the jingle I most recently wrote for this formally unknown organization for the proliferation of franfurter culture and cousine. Though I will not earn one cent for this lyric, you can stretch out and take a look at the interesting articles and trivia. Little did I realize that this council could possibly be a front for the American Meat Institute, who has no qualms of stirring Congress to take meat action by throwing barbeques on the steps of the Capitol while indoctrinating millions that meat is good, eat more. For those radicals who scrawl "meat is murder" in shady corners of our country, this is espionage at the most intellectual level. (For humorous look at such mythical legend of the meat war please watch the Simpsons' episode where Lisa becomes a vegetarian.) Politics aside, the site is fun an unpretenious and worth a look. The former hot dog enthusiast I once was gives this site a t...